music...

i am not much of a music guy. Guess, I am not civilized…and cultured. I am not happening.

For me ‘Rolling Stones’ are nothing but stones that gather no moss. ‘Beatles’ are insects to be squished. ‘Beach Boys’ are the ones that sell peanuts on the beach….'linkin park' is some park linking some other parks...'iron maiden' is made of iron... ‘RadioHead’ for me is the small antenna atop my transistor. ‘Bob Dylan’ and ‘Bob Marley’ are two varieties of beer made from Barley.

‘Pink Floyd’ is something pink that makes a lot of noise.'System Of a Down' is some system which is underneath... ‘U2’ and ‘U40’ are two buses that will take me from alwal (in hyderabad) to kacheguda (again in hyderabad). ‘Led Zeppelin’ is grandson of the man who invented the airborne zepplins used during WW1. ‘Smashing Pumpkins’ is what we Indians do on the road to avoid the evil eye…and in the process kill so many motorists.

‘Madonna’ is just a statue that cries (with tears of blood) whenever required. ‘Elvis Presley’ is some printing press owned by a guy named Elvis. ‘Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ is the Mexican food that my girlfrend likes so much, and I don’t. ‘FatBoy Slim’ is the third atomic bomb US dropped on Japan – yes, the one that did not go off. ‘Nirvana’ is nothing but a mental state of no noise. ‘The Eagles’ are well…eagles.

‘Guns ‘n Roses’ is just a phrase that means war and peace. For me ‘Aerosmith’ is somebody who works on the iron used to build aeroplanes…somebody like a blacksmith. As for ‘Pearl Jam’…I guess it is ocean’s equivalent of a traffic jam, when many oysters (with pearls inside) jam up at a place and affect smooth functioning of the traffic.
‘Shania Twain’ is Mark Twain’s sister …or is it the brother? As for ‘Grateful Death’…well it is a phrase used for somebody who should be grateful if allowed to die.

Like I said, I am not much of a music guy. I know no albums, no bands, and no singers.

VNIT'S QUIZFEST

theres this quizfest along with the cultural festival aarohi in our college,about which my pals asked me to put it in here....



Throughout the two days, informal events shall be conducted to take your minds off the serious business of quizzing. These are primarily for people whose varied interests cannot be taken care of in the main quizzes. With topics ranging from nursery rhymes to cartoons characters and even chocolates, these maintain keep up the quizzing spirit in between quizzes. Fillers like crossword puzzles, jumbled phrases and puzzles are held continuously amid all the quizzing. This is the most awaited part of QuizFest, the part that people enjoy the most.

They are legends...

In a post-apocalyptic 2012(as predicted by Nostradamous),U.S.army lieutenant colonel P.S.S.Ram(Ram) and captain Tuka(Santu) were the two among the very few left as the last healthy humans in Newyork and possibly the entire world. A genetically re-engineered measles virus created in 2009 as a cure for cancer mutated into a lethal airborne strain that spread worldwide and killed 5.4 billion people, 90% of humanity. Only 12 million possessed a natural immunity. The remaining 588 million degenerated into primal, aggressive beings referred to as "Darkseekers" (hemocytes) whose leader was the jalsa rakshashi(jalsa rakshashi was 5 feet 5 inches,fair in complexion and looked like tom cruise.. ).... . The "Darkseekers" exhibited superhuman speed, agility, and strength. The immune regular humans were hunted, killed by other humans, killed by the Infected or committed suicide.

lieutenant colonel P.S.S.Ram(left) and captain Tuka(right)

the remaining 288 civilians formed an army under the liutenant and the captain...they call themselves the 300(all the 288 people which had the likes of sylvester stallone,arnold scwaznegger and pamela anderson )... ,the army had to fight for their survival with the Darkseekers with forks and spoons as they never had any advanced equipment,starvation was never a problem...thanks to KFC's and Mc.Donalds who accepted SBI debit cards and also sudexo meal passes.. . one day when the 300 were coming back from one of the Las Vegas casino after clebrating a birthday of one of them... a small group of 14,000 darkseekers attack them...the brave 300 under the leadership of superbrave,audacious,dauntless Ram and little less brave Tuka fought them and beat the shit out of them..after the aftermath of the rumble the 300 become 225...and were victorious....But then Ram suddenly realized Pamela anderson was killed...and had gone nuts...in that rage killed 25 of his comrades...making it a round figure of 200...and he badly wanted to avenge pamela's death....he got "PAMELA WAS MURDERED" tattooed on Tuka's family pack ab, so that whenever he saw that he got reminded of the revenge, poor tuka he had to be without shirt for the rest of this legend..when Ram was seriously thinking of how to end their wretchednesses caused by the Darkseekers...the Jalsa Rakshashi was planning to end the human race...mean while Tuka has got hold of an Army tank full of arms and ammunations..finally, the Judgement Day came where the man-kind had to face their destiny....the fearless bold 200 fighters took over a zillion darkseekers...the liutenant and the captain equipped with sniper rifle and in a ghillie suit set out for the Jalsa Rakhshasi...they sneaked into the "castle of the Doom" where Jalsa Rakshashi was playing Counter Strike with his cousin...the two then got into a comfortable position,but then Ram realized he had only one bullet in his rifle and he tried to take down the Jalsa Rakshasi and its cousin in one shot...but by its sheer sense of senses the Jalsa Rakshashi escaped the shot...and its cousin was dead...this infuriated the Jalsa Rakshashi...the next second there was a hand to hand combat between the three...the legend is cencored here because of the mass violence involved..finally the jalsa Rakshashi was killed and the castle of doom collapsed... the heroes never returned... The unsung heroes Lieutenant Ram and Captain Tuka saved the human kind..and were awarded Param-Vir chakra and Ashok Chakra respectively...the Darkseekers were made the slaves of the mankind...and slowly the human race started to build...on the shoulders of absolute sacrifice of the two legends ..... i sign off by saying truely THEY ARE LEGENDS..(true story)

Jalsa Rakshashi(1979-2012)


courtesy :Future's History Channel

guy's love Vs timelines

generally a guy loves any thing the most .. only the initial day....and then as time progresses love for the thing changes....here i've taken two typical examples of a bike and a wife

a guy's love for bike Vs. time line
the guy loves his bike the most the first day he gets it...well he would also feel like sleeping with it beside him in the bed (true story)...but in due course his love for the bike goes down...and new launch of more awesome bikes worsen it further...and when he gets a new gf he starts to take good care f d bike coz dts wat wud be his identity...and i dont think i need to explain the curve any further

a guy's love for wife Vs. time line




the guy loves his wife the most the first day he gets her...(well he would also feel like ... ahh let me leave this line..) ...but in due course his love for his wife goes down...and his single friends flirting freely with other girls doesnt help either...and when he gets a new gf he starts to ignore his wife...and then ...u c...... (u figure the rest urself...)

the red phenomenon...Vday..

the fast approaching valentines day, feb 14 has made me inquisitive about how my pals r going to spend the day...now dont ask me who is yourdate this year and stuff..!!We will eventually come to that point later =), i have just interviewed few of my friends how
and with whom would they spend their valentines day...and the summary is......

M.A.Mansoor
-dude i need a beautiful girl..and when i tell that i mean a girl not from our college...please help me..wait no no bullet for my valentine..ahh no no
i need to hit the gym..i cant compromise being a macho for a girl..

Ranbir kapoor
-i dunno may be a candle light dinner,loong drive with my lover deepika...

Sanjay bysani
-id order a pizza and like to finish friends season 4....its an AMAZING(this sounds like ammmmaaaaaazzziiing) show n you need to watch it man....ive watched it like
some fourhundred and seventy two times...this guy joey is really too good man...watch it you will kno..

Meher Anand k
-Dude i need to complete the system programming assignment and then prepare for placement interviews.. dream jobs,cat n stuff

Bipasha basu
-Are you free on 14th ram??..
-re : ahh sorry bips i dont think m free on 14th i have a meeting with Barack Obama to discuss about on growing terrorism in Chechenya..
sorry dear world peace issues to be sorted out first, cant help.

Russel peters
-Somebody is gonna get hurt real badly
-re : i know you brown baaaasket...you will be dumped by your girlfrend

Santosh N
-dude it wud be the same usual stuff...(i know why you made me write this )..
-re : Exactly!!!!, your such a looser....ur better with your volleyball =P

Sonam Kapoor(dilli 6 fame)
-thanks for accepting to come out on a date with me..love you ram..
-re : ahh thats okay...i had to postpone my meeting with obama, but then anyday you are more important than some stupid world issues darling

Rahul Ninoria
-ladki hai, bike hai,(ladki ke paas bhi bike hai).. long drive pe jayenge(apne apne bike mein :P)

Ram
-ahh i will be busy play CounterStrike that day..i need to kick some asses.. anyday counter strike better than a date with a girl :)

John Abraham
-i need some tips to make my girlfrend happy man...please help me out...
-re : sure dude, afterall your one of my best buddies...

******
-its fine if i get a date...or else ill wear orange tee and along with the orange group guys , thrash the couples we find...
-re : dude ur a perfect saddist...awesome...india needs people like u

exaggeration!!

I am no exaggerator…but last night while having dinner I got a call from the Indian Prime minister DR Manmohan Singh. He said I was being awarded the ‘Exaggerator of the year award’. Since I don’t like to be disturbed during dinner, I informed him that I would call him at the next available opportunity and kept the phone down.

After dinner, my curiosity got the better of me and I did a Google search. Seems ‘Exaggerator of the year award’ has been previously won by Y.S. Rajshekar Reddy, George Bush, Amar Singh, Ramalinga Raju, Bishen Singh Bedi, Uma Bharati and Krish Srikkanth among others.

On further research, I found that on 5th of January of each year, both the Rajya Sabha and Lok Sabha members in consultation with the Executive and Judiciary come up with a list of ten biggest exaggerators from various walks of life.


After a while, I stopped googling and looked for mannu’s number. The person you address as the Prime minister of India is a pal of mine and I address him as Mannu. I had his number stored in my mobile...and thus gave him a missed call. I generally do that because for him outgoing is free…and he always says all calls he makes go into Gandhi’s account. Within a few seconds he gave me a call…and we spoke for about 21 minutes.

Why 21 minutes? I was only trying to convince him that I didn’t want the award…but he won’t listen one bit.

As of now I have agreed to be at the presentation ceremony scheduled at the Indira Gandhi Maidan in New Delhi. Heads of State from 189 countries have agreed to grace the occasion – the biggest gathering since Diana’s death in a car crash. It is being telecast live on CNN,NDTV, BBC,Aaj Tak, Doordarshan…and on TV9 because somebody from Andhra Pradesh is winning the award after a long time.

To congratulate me on winning the award mail me - sairampulaparthi@gmail.com

mobiles going hitech

I have a Nokia 6600. A very very very basic model when compared to the hi-tech mobiles that I see in the hands of hi-tech people. I am not aware of the features that the latest of mobiles come with, but I think the phone companies should seriously think of incorporating the below given suggestions if they have to stay ahead in the competition.


Spot The Number
I should be able to point the mobile at any pretty girl and press a single button, and get her phone number stored. This could be risky if girls start carrying their father's mobiles, but considering the benefit the features offers, it is worth the risk.

Voice Sexizer
This feature will turn my moronic voice into like that of Stallone's.

Pronunciation Enhancer
This feature will roll my tongue for me and help me pronounce all the difficult words like - excited, love, america, pretty...blah blah

Commitment Negater
This feature will ensure the disabling of my mobile the moment she talks of meeting parents, eloping, engagement or marriage. It will work on a key-word system, that I could feed into my mobile.

The most important feature will be called Blow Yourself Up You Sucker. This would be one red button that will help me blow myself up, if I still fail to get the pretty one!