Wanna become awesome.. ??

My new book released...thanks john for your valuable inputs..

hehehe ;) smart kids..

A letter to my gurlf frend

24 march 09,
vnit nagpur

to
the gurlfrend of an awesomely awesome guy,
some where in india .

subject : ur so damn lucky to have a guy like me..

very much loved dear mam ,

With the reference to ur mail sent on 3/25/09 i Ram...come wid a reply...i am very much sorry for not able to call and tell "i love you" thousand times yesterday...i dint have enough balance in my mobile...i not so very much deeply offer my grief for making u wait for my call..it was not entirely my fault..that dumb f**k Obama had an appoinment with me over some petty issues in afghan and pakistan..and when i tried calling u today..ur phone ws switched off...so from my busy schedule..i am dedicating some time to write you this mail....and i cut copied and pasted "i love u " 1000 times in the attatchmnt with this mail....don forget to read that and tell me ur opinion....hopefully ul jump n freak around like a monkey after readin that...just take care..and ya don eat ice creams and all like i do when m havin cold...only awesome ppl cn get away wid dt...n u nowhere close to awesome...don try to copy me or somethin... :P ...eat well sleep well...study little less well...hope u undertstnd the gravity of this mail..otherwise goto hell :P.....not at all thanking u...

urs sincierely n ya i cant forget this failthfully also.... ;)

-ram
winner of "World's most awesome guy 06,07,09"
Group director,star sensors , ISRO ... :D (ya my new part time job)

heights....

gosh ..... i cant believe my fans...

CounterStrike or GirlFriend !!!

In the merger of freaking worlds of quandary and CS and love and all other crap....i ram a.k.a Biohazard ChoPper || (my CS codename) once again emerge from the blues of headshots i got playing C.S. dust2 to enlighten few dumbass minds who still think gurl friends are best things to happen to you....

lemme tell you 7 best reasons why counter strike out flanks a gurlfrend

1)CS...u can always have the nick name you want...like u see..i am Biohazard choPper || ...but then gurlfrend..damn man...mine calls me ******...wtf(dts kinda embarrsing to tell ya )!!!!

2)gurlfrend = frustration cause.....CS = frustration effect...

3)u can also play Age of Empires when ur bored of CS(which is very rare..)....ahem ahem...in other case u cant even look at the case covers of other games forget the reviews and demos...

4)CS players command respect...where as boyfrends beg for it....

5)Playing CS u spend dummy money.....Playing lovers game u get bankrupted...

6)CS is like fine wine.....the more the time, the better it gets.....and the other case its viceversa...

7)CS allows you smoke/flash/fire/stab/blow up/frag ...... gurlfrend allows you to...ahh..... nothing ...

so basically the mere fact that 98.823% of students prefer playing CS to other activities sums up my post......

divorced n doomed !!!!!!!

Recently when i was home...n coming back from a friend's place one evening i realized that it was my niece's birthday and i hadn't bought her a present.
I rode to the mall and ran to the toy store

the only thing which came into my mind was a barbie doll..her favorite since shes dint even known how to pronounce Barbie..

after some searching and patrolling in the store ..i finally found out the barbie section


I asked the store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"
The Manager replied, "Which one? We have

'Barbie goes to the gym' for Rs.950,

'Barbie goes to the Disco' for Rs.950,

'Barbie goes shopping' for Rs.950,

'Barbie goes to the beach' for Rs.950,

'Barbie goes to College' for Rs.950 and

'Divorced Barbie' for Rs.3750"

"Why is the Divorced Barbie Rs.3750 when all the others are Rs.950?, i asked.

The store manager replied: "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat, Ken's furniture and all of Ken's savings."

i was dumbstruck.... =( .. poor ken!!!

P.S : Ken is supposed to be the male counterpart of barbie doll

9 Words Women Use

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they think they are right(which happens scarcely ...) and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

Loud Sigh

This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks

A woman is thanking you, do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

Whatever

Is a women’s way of saying F$%K YOU!

Don’t worry about it, I got it

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but she is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?”

For the woman’s response refer to #3.

smart ass!!

There was once an Indian n a pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hens eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.The pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Indian said "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following message: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whomever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls.The pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 40 minutes.

Eventually the pakistani stood up and said "Now it's my turn to kick you."

The indian said "Keep the !@#%#$@#$!@% egg."