Traveling in an auto-rickshaw

Ever traveled in an auto-rickshaw? If your answer is a big ‘No,’ chances are you have not indulged in various other adventures too - like bungee jumping, demolition derby (a sport where you smash each other’s cars till the last car is in running condition), shark hunting and meteor chasing.

You sure like to be in your comfort zone. Don’t you? Unlike your majesty, I am quite an adventurer. Perhaps, I get it from Christopher Columbus, the greatest adventurer of them all. He was the first man to discover U.S, way back in 16th century.

You probably wonder, how Columbus and I are related. That is our family secret…..and anyways it happened way back in 16th century .,when a portugese traveler was learning seamanship under him and then his descendant was vascodagama. Over the years, my family has forgotten the details...but we know for sure that we are adventurers. We travel in auto-rickshaws.

My last trip was from the Nagpur railway station to VNIT (my college). It was quite an eventful journey.

Before the bargaining began I had to convince the auto driver that I have been in Nagpur for the last 3 years and know how it works. Once he was convinced, the actual bargaining began. Eventually, he would agree for Rs 90.

If I thought bargaining was the difficult part…I was in for a surprise.( For those who have never seen an auto-rickshaw before, it is a three-wheeler. It can accelerate like a Ferrari and swerve like a fighter-plane. )

The vehicle is designed with one driver and two passengers in mind. But more often than not, it is three passengers. The passenger sitting in the center is safe, unless the auto topples over. But the passengers sitting on the sides can get thrown out of the vehicle, whenever the auto driver wants.

Am glad, the payment is always made at the end of the journey. Else, all the driver had to do was take a right/left turn… sharp enough for me to fall off the auto, and look for another dumb-F&^%.

Mine was quite a sound auto. It would have put a Lamborghini to shame. The smoke emitted by a textile mill (which we passed on the way) paled in comparison to my auto’s emission potential. As an icing on the cake, the vehicle parts shook suggesting they could fall off any moment.

Not everything about the Auto was scary. The driver had pictures of Mecca, Lord Rama and Jesus Christ. He was quite a religious fellow. There was one issue though...he had pasted the pictures on his wind screen and I wondered how he would see the road. Perhaps he was not able to see the road, or maybe it was his faith in God…but he was very reckless. Either ways, I was holding on strongly. For the uninitiated, autos don’t have any doors and if you are looking for an honorable exit…..no Sir….you are going to be disappointed.

There was consolation in the dry lemon and three red chilies that were hanging from his ‘interior’ rearview mirror. I remember my mother telling me that if a lemon was hung from any vehicle, the chances of an accident were drastically reduced. Thanks to the lemon, my journey was safe.

I intend to deviate from my family tradition of being adventurous and plan to hire a Taxi next time.

Something's wrong with the World

Don't know if you have read this before...but it is awesome stuff. Came as a forward from a friend.

A Worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure.

The reason: In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!!

are all girl friends like this!!!!!

Here is a phone conversation I had recently with my then girl friend....and thank god her balance got over or else you people would have had two more pages to read..

My girlfriend: Hi!
Me: Hey!

My girlfriend: I see a bit of sarcasm in your tone.
Me: Sarcasm? Why would I be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: How would I know? Ask yourself.
Me: But bujji tell me, how can a “Hey” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: You wouldn’t understand. Forget it.
Me: Aree…if you didn’t want me to think about it, why even mention it? Answer my question – how can a “Hey” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: I donno. I no longer feel the same warmth in your tone.
Me: Is it because of the cold I have?

My girlfriend: See, you are being sarcastic again.
Me: Yes, this time….I agree.

My girlfriend: If you can agree now…why didn’t you agree earlier?
Me: I am not being sarcastic ra bujji. Tell me what makes you think something is wrong.

My girlfriend: I don’t know. My heart says so.
Me: Your heart? I didn’t know hearts could speak!

My girlfriend: See…you are being sarcastic again!
Me: Yes, this time also….I agree.

My girlfriend: I feel things aren’t the same with us anymore.
Me: What makes you feel so?

My girlfriend: Your tone.
Me: Do you think gargling would help? It is this darn cold.

My girlfriend: I can see the sarcasm flowing again.
Me: Yes, this time also….I agree.

My girlfriend: You never used to raise your voice with me.
Me: No I didn’t! I didn’t raise my voice at all!

My girlfriend: Now you are. Why are you shouting?
Me: If you get unreasonable, what do I do?

My girlfriend: See….I told you…you aren’t the same anymore.
Me: Ohh God. What makes you think so?

My girlfriend: Don’t raise your voice, I said.
Me: No sweetheart. I am not raising my voice.

My girlfriend: You don’t have to say that so loudly. I am NOT deaf.
Me: I know you are not deaf of ears….

My girlfriend: See…sarcasm again.
Me: Ohh my God. Tell me what I have to do to make you happy!

My girlfriend: Just be yourself.
Me: Ohh come on now bujji, I am being myself.

My girlfriend: No, this isn’t the man I loved.
Me: I am just myself. How can a man who lives for 70 years change drastically in 1 year?

My girlfriend: You never used to argue with me earlier.
Me: I am not arguing with u da!

My girlfriend: Don’t shout!
Me: I am not shouting!

My girlfriend: I think you want to dump me.
Me: No I don’t. Why would I? This started as a casual conversation and here we are talking of dumping?

My girlfriend: Yes. That’s what you want to do…and I can feel that.
Me: What makes you feel that da ?

My girlfriend: I donno….I just know.
Me: How can you know ….when you donno…??

My girlfriend: I donno…
Me: Ok fine. So what should we do? You suggest.

My girlfriend: Take a one-week break, maybe?
Me: I am fine with the idea, if that’s what you want.

My girlfriend: I don’t want that. I am just doing it for you.
Me: What??!!

My girlfriend: Yes. Let us take a break, if that’s what you want.
Me: Ok fine.

My girlfriend: Now you being sarcastic…
Me: How can “Ok fine” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: I donno…
Me: I donno too da....

My girlfriend: See…you are being sarcastic about my feelings now.
Me: .......silence....(id rather kill myself than being on otherside of your fone right now..)..

My girlfriend:what happened why are you silent..??...beep beep beep...phone got cut..

finally that one week break has become a life timer .... and now since m single again m back to being my own self ...

*Men out there, beware of women. They are complex. Worse than the Algebra that you dreaded in school.

i am my favourite..

The first time somebody had told me that I had a big ego, i was all nuts. To take my mind off myself, I took to blogging…but now I am more in love with myself.

My love for myself is so high that if I had been born before Copernicus, I would have suggested a Ram-centric model of the Universe. In case, you didn’t get the point you probably need to know that Copernicus suggested a Helio-centric-model of the universe, where everything revolved around the Sun.

Maybe my childhood was deprived. Maybe, I suffer from a major sense of inferiority and that’s why I always have to be the center of attraction.

While attending a marriage, I want to be the bridegroom (once, I did manage to dislodge the bridegroom and snap a picture with his wife!). When I am in the church attending a baby’s baptism, I so much want to be the baby. I didn’t think this ‘disease’ was much to worry about till I attended a funeral – I wanted to be the corpse. It is another thing that people had surrounded the corpse, and didn’t give me any chance to creep under the white bed-sheet.

Believe me or not…but when I am alone…I crack a joke, laugh at it and then pat on my back myself. Sometimes, I do sprain my right arm while patting my back, appreciating my sheer awesomeness..

i guess i need to start loving myself a bit lesser..., ahh but who cares i am fine with it.. ;)

ahem ahem

Graphical formulation


I now dont really think i need to explain anything !!!

9.2 Seconds – That’s All You’ve Got To Make A First Impression

Everyday, I get thousands of electronic mails asking how to pick up girls. The truth of the matter - however unnatural and fundamentally opposed to everything you've ever learned about the Girls – is that a girl actually picks you. Worse yet, girls are highly superficial: a girl will judge a man on his appearance alone, regardless of how hot she looks And just how long after first sight does it take for a girl to decide if she’d go out with a guy? Try 9.2 seconds*. That's 1.7 seconds faster than your typical rocket launch. Astonishing.

Without the nerve wrecking wits, God-given physique, or the fashion literacy that allow me to frame a woman upon first glance, most guys don’t stand a chance against the clock. Fortunately for you, I like to fling some of my awesomeness on people who are deprived of it. Therefore, I’ve started a list of a few easy-to-follow costume list that allows virtually any man to make a first impression strong enough to defeat a woman’s 9.2 second barrier

FIRST IMPRESSION COSTUMES

MERCENARY

– Walk into a coffee shop(filled with chicks) wearing a gun, a knife, and/or a grenade (toys preferred) and a woman’s first thought will be, “Now here’s a man who can protect me,” followed quickly with her second thought, “I’d like to engage in a relation with this heavily armed man.”

ROCK AND ROLL DRUMMER

– Carry a pair of drumsticks and wear a denim jacket with a patch of your favorite band. Nobody knows what the drummer looks like. NOTE: Avoid the "PANSY DIVISION"(gay band) patch unless you plan on picking up a guy.

THE MACHO

-If you have got sixpack abs(six is necessity, eight is a luxury) and have the flair and flamboyance to carry it on, dude its time to rip your shirt off, go the khan's way and show the chicks some tough guy.

L. L. COOL J

– Ladies love Cool James.

ARTIST

– Toss a beret on your head and carry around a paintbrush and suddenly you’re the sensitive guy – which gives a woman the immense pleasure of believing she might actually make you cry.

A GEEK

Throw on a T-shirt two sizes too big for you, grab a college bag and an issue of Advanced quantum mechanics, and when you walk into a coffee shop EVERY woman will want to be

ESCAPED CONVICT

– Leg irons,handcuffs, and a black and white striped jailsuit. "Women love jewelry, a pin-striped suit, and danger".According to the theory of bad boy syndrome*. Combine all three and you’ll make her dance to your tunes.

* the bad boy syndrome is a psychological issue of a female,which attracts her to a really bad guy.

The chronicles of fist bumps..

The fist bump (also called a knuckleslap,knudge, fist pound, fist kiss, knuckle bump, knuckles, pound it, respect knuckles, respect, knuckle knock, bones, the rock, dap, spud, giving props, knucks, popper etc. ) is a type of a gesture resembling the handshake, highfive or a noserub. A bump also can be known as a symbol of giving of respect.

While the fist bump has gained much notoriety in the past few years, its origins date back to the dawn of human-kind. But one thing has withstood the test of time - don't ever put your fist down until it's been most properly bumped.

the timeline of fist bumps





Dinosaurs fist bump with a metorite from outer space

god fist bumps adam

Chinese build the great wall to prevent the Mongolians from fist bumping them into oblivion

Leonardo-da-vinci fist bumps monalisa.

Shahjahan fist bumps all the workers, who constructed Tajmahal..what happened later is classified

Benjamin franklin fist bumps electricity.

Americans fist bump(bomb) the japanese cities Heroshima and Nagasaki ,with little boy and fat man.

Indians fist bumps the british back to their country, gandhiji fist bumps rest of india

Neil armstrong and lili aldrin fist bump on the moon., first ever fist bump in space.

Rocky vs. Drago fist bump before their fight in Rocky IV .

Barack Obama fist bumps his wife, Michelle.

The first ever alien/Homo sapien fist bump .