i am my favourite..

The first time somebody had told me that I had a big ego, i was all nuts. To take my mind off myself, I took to blogging…but now I am more in love with myself.

My love for myself is so high that if I had been born before Copernicus, I would have suggested a Ram-centric model of the Universe. In case, you didn’t get the point you probably need to know that Copernicus suggested a Helio-centric-model of the universe, where everything revolved around the Sun.

Maybe my childhood was deprived. Maybe, I suffer from a major sense of inferiority and that’s why I always have to be the center of attraction.

While attending a marriage, I want to be the bridegroom (once, I did manage to dislodge the bridegroom and snap a picture with his wife!). When I am in the church attending a baby’s baptism, I so much want to be the baby. I didn’t think this ‘disease’ was much to worry about till I attended a funeral – I wanted to be the corpse. It is another thing that people had surrounded the corpse, and didn’t give me any chance to creep under the white bed-sheet.

Believe me or not…but when I am alone…I crack a joke, laugh at it and then pat on my back myself. Sometimes, I do sprain my right arm while patting my back, appreciating my sheer awesomeness..

i guess i need to start loving myself a bit lesser..., ahh but who cares i am fine with it.. ;)

ahem ahem

Graphical formulation


I now dont really think i need to explain anything !!!

9.2 Seconds – That’s All You’ve Got To Make A First Impression

Everyday, I get thousands of electronic mails asking how to pick up girls. The truth of the matter - however unnatural and fundamentally opposed to everything you've ever learned about the Girls – is that a girl actually picks you. Worse yet, girls are highly superficial: a girl will judge a man on his appearance alone, regardless of how hot she looks And just how long after first sight does it take for a girl to decide if she’d go out with a guy? Try 9.2 seconds*. That's 1.7 seconds faster than your typical rocket launch. Astonishing.

Without the nerve wrecking wits, God-given physique, or the fashion literacy that allow me to frame a woman upon first glance, most guys don’t stand a chance against the clock. Fortunately for you, I like to fling some of my awesomeness on people who are deprived of it. Therefore, I’ve started a list of a few easy-to-follow costume list that allows virtually any man to make a first impression strong enough to defeat a woman’s 9.2 second barrier

FIRST IMPRESSION COSTUMES

MERCENARY

– Walk into a coffee shop(filled with chicks) wearing a gun, a knife, and/or a grenade (toys preferred) and a woman’s first thought will be, “Now here’s a man who can protect me,” followed quickly with her second thought, “I’d like to engage in a relation with this heavily armed man.”

ROCK AND ROLL DRUMMER

– Carry a pair of drumsticks and wear a denim jacket with a patch of your favorite band. Nobody knows what the drummer looks like. NOTE: Avoid the "PANSY DIVISION"(gay band) patch unless you plan on picking up a guy.

THE MACHO

-If you have got sixpack abs(six is necessity, eight is a luxury) and have the flair and flamboyance to carry it on, dude its time to rip your shirt off, go the khan's way and show the chicks some tough guy.

L. L. COOL J

– Ladies love Cool James.

ARTIST

– Toss a beret on your head and carry around a paintbrush and suddenly you’re the sensitive guy – which gives a woman the immense pleasure of believing she might actually make you cry.

A GEEK

Throw on a T-shirt two sizes too big for you, grab a college bag and an issue of Advanced quantum mechanics, and when you walk into a coffee shop EVERY woman will want to be

ESCAPED CONVICT

– Leg irons,handcuffs, and a black and white striped jailsuit. "Women love jewelry, a pin-striped suit, and danger".According to the theory of bad boy syndrome*. Combine all three and you’ll make her dance to your tunes.

* the bad boy syndrome is a psychological issue of a female,which attracts her to a really bad guy.

The chronicles of fist bumps..

The fist bump (also called a knuckleslap,knudge, fist pound, fist kiss, knuckle bump, knuckles, pound it, respect knuckles, respect, knuckle knock, bones, the rock, dap, spud, giving props, knucks, popper etc. ) is a type of a gesture resembling the handshake, highfive or a noserub. A bump also can be known as a symbol of giving of respect.

While the fist bump has gained much notoriety in the past few years, its origins date back to the dawn of human-kind. But one thing has withstood the test of time - don't ever put your fist down until it's been most properly bumped.

the timeline of fist bumps





Dinosaurs fist bump with a metorite from outer space

god fist bumps adam

Chinese build the great wall to prevent the Mongolians from fist bumping them into oblivion

Leonardo-da-vinci fist bumps monalisa.

Shahjahan fist bumps all the workers, who constructed Tajmahal..what happened later is classified

Benjamin franklin fist bumps electricity.

Americans fist bump(bomb) the japanese cities Heroshima and Nagasaki ,with little boy and fat man.

Indians fist bumps the british back to their country, gandhiji fist bumps rest of india

Neil armstrong and lili aldrin fist bump on the moon., first ever fist bump in space.

Rocky vs. Drago fist bump before their fight in Rocky IV .

Barack Obama fist bumps his wife, Michelle.

The first ever alien/Homo sapien fist bump .

ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM FEELINGS?????

Recently i have been fighting some serious illness...after hours of googling the symptoms i found out it was the most life threatening disease... feelings...,during my courageous battle against Feelings I discovered, in shock, that the medical establishment has done very little research on this crippling affliction. In fact some physicians even went so far as to claim Feelings aren’t even a life-threatening disease! Luckily for you my PhD in Awesomeness has qualified me to assemble this informative medical pamphlet for any of you who fear you may have contracted Feelings.

Keep fighting Feelings.

ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM FEELINGS?

What Are Feelings?

Feelings are a tender emotional state that develop when a male becomes fixated on a single female to the exclusion of others. Even others who look hot.

Early Warning Signs

When you’re around one particular chick, you experience:

•Pounding Heart
•Dry Mouth
•Nausea
•Inability to speak
•Sweating
•Desire to say flattering things
•And hide the fact that you are an owner of a big MNC, airvoice..

If undiagnosed, these warning signs can quickly develop into the full blown disease…

Symptoms

•Warm fluttery feelings in stomach
•Lightheadedness
•Daydreaming
•An unexplained urge to see her or call her
•Sudden decrease in bank balance
•Shooting up mobile bill
•Happiness in her company, sipping roadside tea and swallowing gol gappas(pani puris).
•Failure to notice other hot girls
•Even amnesia at times...(when get hit by the bad guy on your head trying to protect the female from him).
•Having a scar on your head and an obvious 8 pack abs.
•Tattooing random things all over your body.


Transmission

Though correlation remains scientifically inconclusive, studies indicate “hand holding” may play a role in spreading Feelings from one person to another.

Treatment

At this time the only treatment for Feelings is a multi-week course in Other girls. If symptoms persist, repeat course at a higher dosage. NOTE: This treatment can result in harmful side-effects such as rash, infection, and in some cases, female five finger imprint on the face.

paid for by the Harward Medical Foundation

“All the young people of this planet earth unite.. , Together we can eradicate Feelings”

QUALITY TIME..!!!!!!!!

fellow jobless blog readers i was actually thinking of what must i be thinking during the time of exams...and while this amazing thought of mine was being processed in my mind machine(powered by microprocessor 8085, other specifications : N/A .. )...anyways when the processing of data was over...,the unique response to the stimuli was "watch a movie"...again there was an interrupt signal sent to my mind machine.."exam tomorrow"..well then i disabled interrupt signals and finally..opened my laptop to have some QUALITY time..which for sure is going to reflect on my sessionals paper tomorrow..leaving me to process the statement "if only i studied for an hour more"..anyways ill let the future me deal with that..so finally with my lappy on, i started DC++(for the unknowns dc++ is the lan tool we use in vnit)...The ultimate warehouse of gyan,entertainment,counterstrike machine's ip's and porn... Anyways....surfing through the unlimited terabytes of use(ful n less)stuff i finally decided to run a minor process on my mind machine....just selected one of a telugu movie from laden(frend's comp) and donwloaded it..since very less amount of decoding is all that is required to understand a telugu movie...
i decided to go ahead..and then in fortyfive minutes of my watching the movie..my processor got hanged zillion times and my system didnt have the cntrl+alt+del facility or either alt+f4 option which i would have loved to use...i deliberately wanted to kill the process..but was motivated by the determination factor..and literally finished the movie by forwarding it and watching in bits and pieces..was really grievous..

Yuck,sickenig, foul, himeshing, nauseating, loathy, repelling, ..man my cache is full to use more adjectives of disgust right now i guess i need to throw up
.....

nature's beauty at its best

the beautiful sunset captured by me ...